- selfcaresisterhood
- Oct 28
- 6 min read
Hey there! It's Jeanie, Self Care Sisterhood Founder. I would love to share the story of how the Self Care Sisterhood began...
I moved from Columbus, Ohio to Cincinnati shortly after getting married to my husband, Rob, in 2022. Moving to a new city and getting married are pretty major life changes, but that wasn't all the change in store for us. Shortly after moving, I started experiencing some major health issues. Daily seizures, severe joint pain, inflammation, hair loss, etc. plagued me out of nowhere. After months of dealing with these crazy symptoms and going to several specialists, I was diagnosed with epilepsy and severe Rheumatoid Arthritis. It took awhile to find the right treatments to manage my seizures and symptoms. The daily seizures made working a normal 9-5 job impossible so I left my position with the government to focus on my health fulltime. All of these changes- moving, marriage, leaving the workplace, and severe health issues- left me feeling lost and isolated. Many of my female friends disappeared during these transitions and I found myself without a meaningful social network.
I was desperately looking for connection and genuine friendship. I joined the Meetup app to attend free events and meet new people. While the events were fun and the people welcoming, I struggled to find any groups I really connected with. Making friends as an adult can be so difficult, not to mention- AWKWARD. It's so easy to make friends as kids with all the activities, groups, and schooling we have to naturally bring us together. As adults we have to be super intentional about seeking out friendship. After several Meetup events and no real connections, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I would create my own Meetup group...
I have always struggled with self care. As a pathological people pleaser and empath, everyone else's needs have always come before my own. Before getting super sick, it was my normal routine to run on little sleep going from one thing to another at the speed of light. I never gave myself time to rest. I was always running late and would push myself to the point of burn out. My parents affectionately referred to this as my "monthly break down." (And no we are not talking about periods here!) I never listened to my body and instead continued to push myself until my body literally gave up. I would routinely get sick with colds and viruses that would keep down for a day or two, but then once I was feeling a little better I would be back at it again, running on empty, until my next monthly break down. I couldn't see what I was putting myself through and unfortunately it took devastating health conditions to wake me up to my bad habits. When I started to get sick, really sick, and realized this was much worse than my normal monthly break down, I felt as though my body was betraying me. I hadn't done anything differently so why was it now unable to handle it? I went to my therapist to try to cope with everything that was happening and she told me something that completely changed my life.
"If you don't take time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness."
I had been told this message many times in different words, but for the first time ever, I got the message! My body didn't betray me... I betrayed my body! After years of neglect and pushing myself to the breaking point, my body finally surrendered. It couldn't handle the pressure anymore and it did the only thing it knew to do to get my attention... Quit! Getting chronically ill forced me to come to terms with my unhealthy relationship with self care. What I once thought of as a selfish, shallow endeavor, I learned was an essential part of my health care. We MUST take care of ourselves. It's how we remain alive and how we thrive. Self care isn't selfish! Self care is the ultimate form of self love. Once I learned this, I knew that I needed to make some major changes in my lifestyle. Quitting my job to focus on my health fulltime was one of the hardest but best decisions I could have made for myself. I was given the precious gift of time to focus on repairing my relationship with my own body and to form new healthy habits and routines. As I was dedicating myself to these changes, I knew it would be essential for me to find friends who prioritized their self care as well. Having a group of women who could hold me accountable or even join me in my self care journey became a new goal. Enter the Self Care Sisterhood...
I started the Self Care Sisterhood Meetup group in January of 2023 hoping to find a community of women I could connect with that also prioritized their own self care. The name quite literally came to me in a dream. I held our first meeting at the Wine Merchant on January 1st as it was the start of a new year and my New Year's Resolution. I advertised it as a meet & greet while sipping wine. I also added that I would share a little bit about the importance of self care. I thought I might get 3-5 ladies to show up, we'd have a few get togethers and then it would fizzle out. That wasn't the case.... I had nearly 30 women show up, on a holiday I might add, to my first event. Women of all ages and walks of life. Moms, Grandmas, college students, professors, newly divorced, and newly married all showed up because the idea of pursuing self care resonated with them. I was blown away. Clearly, I had found a message that many women could relate to.
As women, we wear so many hats and face so much societal pressure to be, act, and look a certain way. It is EXHAUSTING. We are almost conditioned to believe that our sole purpose is to care for others FIRST, leaving self care as a luxurious after thought that few of us ever get to indulge in. Funny that we are taught how to take care of the household in Home Ec. at school but there was never a class on how to manage our emotions, file our taxes, or properly care for ourselves. Self care is an essential part to becoming a healthy, happy woman and is what can allow us to truly care for others well. The instructions we receive from airlines to put our oxygen mask on first before helping others with theirs must apply to all other areas of our lives too. We cannot help others if we are barely able to help ourselves.
If you struggle with the idea of self care, I gently remind you of this... self care isn't selfish. Self care is taking care of yourself now so that you can care for others later.
Flash forward 2 years later, the Sisterhood is alive and thriving, much to my surprise. We have grown tremendously from that first event. We have nearly 500 members and counting! We've held over 100 events including our first ever weekend retreat and Cincinnati's first women-owned business fair! We have made incredible connections and friendships. Our members have been to each others weddings, become best friends, and supported one another through hard times. I met my two closest girlfriends through the Sisterhood. Not only have I worked to heal my relationship with my body, but I'm also now getting healthy! My seizures are controlled and my RA is more manageable. While I don't contribute my restored health fully to the Sisterhood, I definitely recognize how much it helped! (We will get into the proven health benefits of self care and female friendships in a later blog post.) The beautiful women that make up the Self Care Sisterhood have changed my life for the better and have restored my faith in female friendships. Creating this community, aside from marrying my husband, was the best decision I ever made. I am so incredibly thankful.
If you're reading this as a member of the Sisterhood... THANK YOU! I truly, truly mean it when I say you have changed my life for the better. You make my life so much fuller and give me so much joy. Thank you for being my accountability buddy as we prioritize our own self care, together. What fun times, memories, and powerful learning opportunities we've shared together. I am so grateful for all of it and for you. I'm exited for so many more memories we have to share in the future together.
If you're new here, WELCOME. I hope reading this gave you a little insight into my heart and the mission that is the Self Care Sisterhood. Whether you are completely new to the concept of self care or a seasoned pro, you are welcome here. I hope this group provides you all the support, community, accountability, joy, and much more that it has provided me the last few years. I invite you to check out our upcoming events, find one that interests you, and join us! I'm so excited to personally meet you and welcome you into our Girl Gang full of some pretty amazing and bad ass women.Remember, you are worthy of the same care you show for everyone else. Self care is not selfish. Self care is ESSENTIAL. Let's start to prioritize your own self care, together. <3
With all my love, hugs, & gratitude,
Jeanie McGarvey
Self Care Sisterhood, Founder